It was July The 25th 2015 but it was scorching hot so the children were dying for a swim but the pool was green so swimming wasn’t likely. Liam -the 10 year old- was super excited to see the hip hop dancer perform the next day...
It was finally the night of the dance Liam was hyped and so was the rest of the audience there was a timer counting down on a giant 200” tv screen. There was a huge explosion as the dancer walked out onto the stage but they had underestimated the power of the fireworks, they could smell gas as flames took over the building...
By Danny
Good ending, leaves me wanting more! But I think you should've used more commas. (i.e. making the first sentence "It was July the 25th 2015, it was scorching hot and the children were dying for a swim! But the pool was so green that swimming wasn't likely."
ReplyDelete~Ryan B
Scarlett and I really liked it good job. i liked it how you left us with a cliff hanger,I really got pulled into your story. Again it was really really really good. From Jasmine and Scarlett (: (: (:(:
ReplyDeleteWONDER FROM MS BRENNOCKS CLASS
ReplyDeleteHi Danny. I enjoyed your story. July reminds me of my holidays.
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