Wednesday, April 13, 2016

Week 11 - the boy by Tamara

Once upon a time there lived a boy. He was sitting on a bench I wonder what he was waiting for. all of a sudden he jumped up looked like a bee bit him but no he brought out his kite i walked over to him hello i said GO AWAY he shouted why cause i said so okay okay i walked away . he looked every were couldnt find me HELLO HELLO were are you SORRY i told you to go away i popped out where i was hiding its okay i said do you want to be friends yep would you like to fly my kite okay i said once i finished flying his kite we got too too hot so he said i have 2 dollers want to bye an ice cream since they are 2 dollers yep so i got a choclate and my friend got a hokey pokey then we went home 

by Tamara

6 comments:

  1. Great story Tamara! Next time think about using more capital letters and punctuation:)~Michaela

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  2. I love the idea of this story it's really original , just remember that after a full stop there is a capital letter and I is always a capital letter. Amber N

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  3. Nice story tamara but next time use more punctuation.
    From Harriett.

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  4. Great story Tamara :) next time think about where you put your commas and capital letters. Also try spell checking it next time :-)
    From Charlotte

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  5. I like how you made yourself the main character. Next time you need to work on using capital letters and full stops properly.
    From Zoe

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  6. Amazing Story
    Next time check your punctuation, spelling & make sure your story is under 100 words
    From Lucy
    :)
    :)

    ReplyDelete