I woke up with a bump on my head. It felt like I just cracked my head open. I touched it and it disappeared. I tried to stand up and I floated like a cloud. I yelled hello and it echoed like I was in a cave. Was I dead and in heaven? Or was I just having a daydream? Suddenly a figure of a little girl was frolicking in the distance. I ask her where I was and she said “Home” with a smile. Then she disappeared into light.A few moments later, she appeared again and said “come you’ll be safe”. I was confused was this place not safe? Suddenly I felt myself disappearing into the light. My eyes stung and I couldn’t see. Was this the end?
By Lucy
Good Storyline, next time use more commas instead of fullstops (e.g. I woke up with a bump on my head. It felt like I just cracked my head open. should be I woke up with a bump on my head, It felt like I just cracked my head open.)
ReplyDelete-Danny
hi Lucy.
ReplyDeleteI really love your story it is very interesting and mysterious everyone would love this I love it so much I read it over and over again.I like how you used the word's suddenly, daydream and floated all your punctuation is perfect! I love this I would read it all day also I like who you stared with I woke up with a bump on my head instead of once upon a time.