By Alyssa Curtis
Sunday, April 19, 2015
Alyssa C - X marks the spot
"X marks the spot", boomed kiwi in his loud croaky voice. It was a dark cold clear night in fruit forest, everybody was excited when they heard the news, of the giant treasure hunt and now kiwi was even more excited that toucan (his buddy) and him had found the treasure!! "Yeah we found it" cried an excited toucan. While he wasn't watching grey heron and his friend kaka swooped down on the treasure and grabbed it. "Hey that's not fair!" Squawked kiwi. "To bad kiwi its ours now!" Kiwi, kiwi. He woke up in a hurry and looked outside where is the treasure......
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ReplyDeleteMrs Skinner (Team 100)
You have written a good story, Alyssa.
ReplyDeleteI love your opening sentence.
'Boomed' and 'croaky' are really interesting words.
Your use of dialogue adds interest to your story and the ending has left the reader in suspense.
Well done and keep writing for 100WC!
Comment left on behalf of Heather (team100)
I also like the descriptive words that you have used, Alyssa - you made some good choices. I like the way you put 'his buddy' in brackets. That was very good. Do you think you and your friends would fall out over the treasure? Well done for entering the 100WC this week.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the comments about youir descriptive language, Alyssa. I also like the way you put ;his buddy' in brackets - that was a good use of punctuation. Do you think that you and your friends would fall out over the treasure? Well done for entering the 100WC this week - I enjoyed reading this.
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