Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Brooklyn - My Stormy Day

The wind and the rain was beating against  the windows of my house like a drum . 
The autumn leaves were swirling around.  The colour of the leaves were golden and crunchy looking,  they looked like a cornflake flying in the sky it looked amazing.  I had a though and danced in the wind and rain, my hair looked incrediable like a loin in the wind. My sister thought it looked exciting and she joined me, we had a wonderful time dancing and swirling like the leaves.... Girls my mum calls, time to come in out of the rain.

By Brooklyn

2 comments:

  1. i liked how you used descriptive words next time try and add speech marks when someone is talking

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  2. I love all the descriptive words! Next time, maybe highlight the words you needed to add in there so tht we know you have done that! Other than that I think it was great!
    Well done.
    ~Zena~

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