Maddison and I walked on a dusty, oaky wooden floor. Our faces tremble in fear, our knees wobbling like jelly and our surroundings," ugh mossy cobblestone walls" as I whisper to Maddison. The room smelled like a sulphur pool mixed with rotten eggs. Maddison sees a old table with a little black chest. We came closer to have a better look at it. ...so as she lifted the lid... I tell her to stop but it was to late, she opens it and the chest screamed at us, mumbling words. What did she do?
From Alyssa McNamara
Great story Alyssa, with lots of suspense. Just watch your use, and mixing up of the present and past tenses.
ReplyDeleteThanks
Abby, Team100WC Reading UK