There were two friends, whose names were Zoe and Vicky. They were playing together on the trampoline outside. It was a nice sunny day. Suddenly it got really windy out of no where, so Zoe’s mum told them to come inside. After they went inside the wind stop and after an hour the wind got really hard started again, But the ferocious wind the toilets got flooded and trees were swaying side to side it also brought thunder, hail and lightning, everyone in their street were scared that something bad might happen but as soon as the girls screamed
to be continued……
by Ashley
Love your story Ashley, Just make sure that your story makes sense.
ReplyDelete- Kaitlyn.
i love the way you suddenly ended it well done
ReplyDelete-maddison
Sounds interesting,but it needs to make sense
ReplyDeleteFromJET-LI
good story and good use of commas
ReplyDeleteBy Jordan
Ashley, I can imagine that people would have been very frightened by a wind that strong. I like the way you describe the movement of the trees - it gave me a clear picture in my head. I think you have missed some words out here: 'ferocious wind the toilets got flooded'. That can happen when you are trying to edit your work to 100 words. How do you think you could change this so that it makes sense? Well done for entering the 100WC.
ReplyDeleteCarole (Team 100 UK)