It was a dark and cold night as the sun began to rise over the mountains.
As i keep on walking I see my friends down a row at the chip store
I thought sweet as I start to slowly walk to them trying to be
As silent as I could be no one heard me it was like I was fly over them.
So I started to talk then i started to lie to them I thought i could not get my way out of this. We stop walking I say “why did we stop” they all look at me one of them pulls out a knife…
By Brandon
Great story Brandon! Next time work on your puncuation.
ReplyDelete~Michaela :)
Hi Brandon, Great story as it has suspense at the end, remember that when you do the word I to use a capital I.
ReplyDelete-Danny
check your capital letters, there was a lower case i and a capital letter in the middle of a sentence (slowly walk to them trying to be As silent) and check your full stops. By Kynan
ReplyDeletenice story but next time work on some punctuation and some little bits didn't make sense but nice story.
ReplyDeletesam carter