On The Moon on the 18th of March 2016 we made some new alien friends who loved to have banana wars. They blended up some banana and they threw it like a bullet. I got hit by five of them and with each hit me they bruised into a nasty black dot that spread fast.
After the battle they went and cooked up some steamy fresh chips. They tasted so sweet because the secret ingredient was a pinch of sugar.
After the pains gone we lie down in some relaxing cushioned canoes which fly smooth when the paddles row through the clouds.
-Sam Ctr
good mork sam
ReplyDeleteby cruz
Why did you put a capital 'T' in 'On The Moon'?
ReplyDelete'After the pains gone' doesn't make sense.
~Ryan B
You need to check through your work more carefully and make sure your sentences make sense. It is very choppy and doesn't flow, it jumps from on thing to another making it hard to understand and read. But I really liked the last part about the cushioned canoes. Ruby
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