Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Week 8 - Tsunami by Zoe

As I drifted through the labyrinth of buildings my raft gently rocked, sending me into a sort of trance.  I tilted my head back to gaze at the night sky, a chips packet drifted through the darkness until the wind caught and they danced a graceful waltz, for a second I too felt as if I could fly.  The salty sweet taste of the moist sea air wafted past my nose.  I picked up my oar and began to row.  In the days that followed I once again began to find myself lie that I had been telling myself disappeared and I could finally see things clearly.

By Zoe

6 comments:

  1. i love your description Zoe from scarlett

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  2. good job but work on your punctuation
    Caleb Andrews

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  3. Great Story Zoe
    But next time check your punctuation
    From Lucy :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

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  4. Hi Zoe
    I liked your story but did NOT make any sence.
    Some of the story was amazing but I think you could of chosen a different topic. So it would make sence. From your not so lovly friend Jasmine

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  5. Hi Zoe,
    I really like the describing in your story, just the last line confused me.
    Maybe to make it more sense use punctuation?
    Amber T :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. I like your work I can not see any mistakes.
    mac

    ReplyDelete