I was sprinting my hardest huffing and puffing around each corner. It was all because I had been elected for inter school running. It was going to be all worth it and finally, when I came whizzing around a corner, I could see the finish line but all of a sudden my legs stopped running, I started limping and then my knees buckled. I fell to the ground and could feel all eyes on me, everyone was laughing. I could feel people lifting me up and helping me off the track but I shook them off, got up and started limping to the finish line. I made it, when the lady wrote the number one on my hand I felt that it was all worth it.
By Jasmine
I like your use of descriptive words and language, but next time you could use a few more commas.
ReplyDelete~Ryan B
Hi Jasmine,
ReplyDeleteGrace here your story was really good and you used good words like whizzing, huffing, puffing but you do have 126 words next time could you do 98-102 word, but it was really good.
Grace RM04