I Dashed through the dark forest my feet frozen like ice-blocks, I quickly jumped in my hiding spot and hoped that Ella wouldn't find me. All around the dense forest I could hear people scuttling into their hiding spots hoping the same as me, that we wouldn't get found. Suddenly there was a noise behind me it sounded like an evil growl! I slowly turned around trying not to crush the leaves under me so ella wouldn't hear but all I could see were two red eyes glowing in the distance. The eyes were slowly creeping up on me closer and closer! I sprinted as faster than I had ever before in my life hoping that whatever it was couldn't catch me....
By Anna
This was an excellent piece of writing Anna!
ReplyDeleteI really liked how you described the forest, I also liked how you had lots of adjectives.
From Caitlin :D
great story anna nice dircibering words
ReplyDeletefrom luke rm 11
Great story, but next time put in more commas, the line that starts with: I slowly turned around trying not to crush the leaves, is to long. And where was your hiding spot??
ReplyDelete-Kaitlyn.R
kia ora
ReplyDeletenice use of descritive words.my favourtite phrase was the "my feet frozen like ice-blocks.
Nikita broadgreen intermediate
Nice effective story and simile .
ReplyDeleteBuddÿ connor 🙌
I really love how you said my feet frozen like ice blocks. Also it was a really great story .I really loved how you had lots of different sentence beginnings and you were also really descriptive. I don't think that there is anything you need to work on.
ReplyDeleteFrom your buddy Leah Valley School Room 4.