My body fell and hit the ground, my tear-filled eyes started to slowly close. And just before I blacked out, I realised what horrible thing had happened. It all started with dark clouds crowding the sky, a strong wind thrashing at my back. I trudged through the fields, I could hardly walk. Lightning pierced the clouds and thunder shook the earth. Rain suddenly fell to the ground and I knew it would not be long before I would be drenched. The ghosts in the wind picked me up and slammed me to the ground, I knew it was the end.
By Kaitlyn
Nice Kaitlyn nice descriptive language and I have nothing bad to say it is a great story.
ReplyDeleteBy Ben Mercer Broadgreen Intermediate School Nelson
I really love the descriptive words that you have put in your story and that it's very exciting to read and to not know what's really going to happen, but maybe you could have explained what the horrible thing that happened. Thx
ReplyDeleteFrom Alyssa.M loves dragons
Nice story Kaitlyn I really like how you used lightning as one of your sentence beginings. But next time you should use some other sentence beginings
ReplyDeleteFrom(Karangarua) Valley School