Hi my name is Rachel a fun in the sun type of girl.
As I skipped to a paddock and opened the gates and there stood a beautiful mud, brown horse. It's thick, heavy mane blows in the wind. " Oh that horse is super kawaii, I'll call him steps or cocoa,maybe even lucky,......yeah lucky, I like that name.
Anyway he is running top speed, how thrilling. Maybe I could jump on top of him and ride him. Man how cool would that be, and what about a competition, but I'll be dreaming by that point." I wouldn't take my eyes from that horse, that horse is my legacy.
From Alyssa
I like how you said the horse looked like. Next time though remeber that when some ones talking use speech marks.
ReplyDeleteFrom Alyssa.C
Nice story Alyssa Nice Language in your writing next time use a bit more and it will be great.
ReplyDeleteBy Ben Mercer Broadgreen Intermediate School Nelson