Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Nikitia - The dream

                                         
I heard the most beautiful sound I had ever heard coming from the piano that my sister was playing.The musical notes were mind blowing,just perfect.The tune was an original piece that I have never heard before.The piano was an old wrecked one but it could make a real good tune.The tune finished with a high note.The most beautiful high note.All of a sudden I was awaken by my sister screaming at me saying “the neighbor’s house is on fire!!” I jumped out of bed and ran upstairs what i saw was going to change my life forever……
                                                           by Nikita

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5 comments:

  1. AnonymousJune 16, 2015 at 4:01 PM

    Nice story Nikita nice puncutiation try next time more descriptive language

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJune 16, 2015 at 4:22 PM

    Nice story Nikita nice language in your writing next time use more Descriptive language.

    By Ben Mercer Broadgreen Intermediate School Nelson

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJune 16, 2015 at 4:33 PM

    I like how you described the sound you could hear. Next time though remeber your capitals.
    From Alyssa.C

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousJune 16, 2015 at 4:33 PM

    I love how you said you wake up and you sister was screaming at you, but you have to make sure your I's are in caps.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousJune 23, 2015 at 4:24 PM

    Wow was that real ? You might need a little bit more descriptive language. From your blogging buddy tim.

    ReplyDelete

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