Two days ago my family went to get my brother a guitar so he practice with it. It took us about half an hour to find the right shop for the right guitar. So we went in and there was a lot of instruments in the shop there where violins, guitars, drums and pianos on one of them I could hear my dad playing on a piano. The notes from the piano made my mum start to sing, when people walked by they looked at my mum and dad funny so I told them to go away and mind there on business.
By Ashley
i love your name AShley
ReplyDeletenice story Ashely nice writing language next time try anduse more descriptive language.
ReplyDeleteBy Ben Mercer Broadgreen intermediate school nelson
Wel done Ashley
ReplyDeleteI really liked how u added the mind your own business bit
From Nikita broadgreen intermediate :)
Your story is really good Ashley!
ReplyDeleteJust remember to re-check your story to make sure it makes sense.
I love the humor in your story, next time maybe make sure it makes sence.
ReplyDeleteFrom your Dragon friend.
I like how you made the story funny. Next time re-read your story and make sure it makes sense.
ReplyDeleteFrom Alyssa.C
I like your story it is very good and I like the first sentence. But maybe next time you could add a bit more punchuation in it.
ReplyDeleteby Abbey Valley school
Nice story Ashley, next time you could use more descriptive words, and more language features.
ReplyDeleteOtautau school Jack