“LIAM!” Screeched Mum,
”go to the store and get a loaf of bread!” She added.
”Ok Mum” replied Liam tiredly.
His blonde hair bounced on top of his head as he ran down to the store, it was about five kilometers but Liam was fit so it didn’t take long.
When he got to the corner store he saw that there was one loaf of bread left, he felt relieved. Suddenly someone grabbed it and took it to the counter.
“What do you mean there was no bread!” roared Mum.
By Danny
that was good this part doesn't
ReplyDeletemake sense “LIAM!” Screeched Mum,
”go to the store and get a loaf of bread!” She added. other wise it is good
Nice story danny I liked how you used alot of punktuation. by sam
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