I looked out the window. The sky was tar-black and the large clouds were moving towards me. I heard a tapping on the window and then it became a pitter-patter. There was a silence, then I heard a loud scream. “AGHH THUNDER!” It was my younger brother. He grabbed an orange blanket, and curled up on the couch. He slowly drifted off to sleep in his fluffy pyjamas. I stood by the window and watched the little birds as they swam in the puddles. The rain became lighter and lighter, and then it stopped. I looked back at my brother to see if he was okay. That was the day my brother died.
By Amber T
This is a great piece of writing and you have descirbed the scene very well. I like how you have used 'tar black' to describe the clouds. Mrs Parker
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