I could hear them but not see them, all the shouting and screaming and the sirens that I thought was an ambulance. I could only see darkness and it seemed to be getting darker. Everyone seemed to be sounding further and further away.
The sounds of the people turned into a long beeping sound. It hurt and I wondered am I dead? The beeping sound stopped and a bright light flashed in front of me, blinding me.
I slowly regained feeling in my body. I could smell something but I couldn’t think as to what it was. My eyes slowly adjusted to the light to reveal a huge staircase leading up to the sky. The edges lined by beautiful flowers, that must have been what I could smell. Light beamed down on the staircase beckoning me. I slowly walked towards it only to be stopped by a voice.
“You can’t go up there, you’re not allowed”
By Ruby
I love your descriptive language it is amazing but I am pretty sure you are over 100 word so just try to limit that but other than that it was great:).
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I agree with Scarlett on the length :) This is a fantastic piece of writing however Ruby, you certainally have a skill for descriptive writing. Using words such as regained, reveal and beamed help to enhance your story. Well done, Mrs P
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